I’ve been having a wobbly week confidence-wise. It was particularly bad at the weekend and there was a lot of sleeplessness and some tears.
Since the day that I left the bank in 2013 to pursue teaching I’ve had people telling me how hard Hibernia is. I 100% know that they mean well. Most are trying to prepare me as I think it’s obvious to everyone that I have a tendency to take on a lot.
Rarely have I doubted myself but this week it got in on me. It could have been lack of sleep, Jodie starting creche or maybe because the start date is drawing near. Either way I went over and over it in my head for past few days until thankfully I remembered.
I remembered that I’ve been doing this hard stuff for a while now. Studying, motherhood, running my own business and sobriety. None of it has been easy and yet I’m still going. I also remembered that I have a of support, a lot of people cheering me on. However, most importantly I remembered that I might actually fail. That I might not be able for this and that it might get the better of my determined nature. But if it does then at least I’ve tried.
Sometimes we look at people who achieve things and we think “I wish I could do that” or worse “I could never do that”. We think that they have all of the answers and that they are in some way better or more special than us. I know that there are a lot of people who think that they could never do some of the things that I’ve done. I’m know because they tell me often in comments and messages. So this is a short post to say that even people who do hard stuff have the shakiest of shaky days (or weeks in my case). Nobody is confident all of the time and the bigger the risk the more likely you are to feel nervous or anxious. It doesn’t mean you can’t overcome these feelings and do it anyway. As they say better to have tried and failed…